erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
