Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
