I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My vagina just recognized that song.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
