This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
