i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
