So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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