Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
