Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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