Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I touched a dick in church today
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
