roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
