im about as happy as oj after his trial
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
