I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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