sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
