I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
