My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my being single is dangerous.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
