No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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