Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
