Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
