are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
