I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
