would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
