whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
