C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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