nut hugger
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
