Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
17 year olds will be the death of me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
