It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
