So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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