Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
