i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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