just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
