I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
high people should be assigned attendants
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
