Sponge bath it is.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
