the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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