omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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