the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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