seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
