There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
