He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
