My nipple is on Facebook.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
