I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
