Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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