Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
