then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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