I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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