no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
