his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
