but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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