found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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