I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
