What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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