who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
