Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
