she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
