I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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