i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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