i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
