While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize