whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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