I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
