If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He is an equal opportunity slut.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
