What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
